If Wishes Were Horses Read online

  Sarah passively listened to the interview between Eric and Linda Egret until thatmoment. “Mr. Herne didn’t mention the woman had asked to be part of the coven?” sheasked. “Wouldn't the two of you, as head priest and priestess, make those decisions together?”

  “Perhaps.” Linda hesitated. “But I trust Justin's judgment. He's never given me reason to doubt that he has the best interests of the coven at heart. He can be fairly arrogant about some things,” a familiar smile touched her lips and Sarah was annoyed at the twinge of jealousy she felt, “but he sets aside his ego in matters of faith and thewell-being of the group. He's a caring friend and a very spiritual man. That's what thisis about, isn't it?” Her eyes darkened with anger as she studied the two impassive cops before her. “You suspect he's somehow involved in this. I can tell you that Justin Herne isn't violent, nor is he deceitful. He will do everything he can to help you solve thiscase.”

  “Miss Egret,” Sarah leaned forward, “I was a witness to the Beltane ritual you performed with Mr. Herne earlier this week. I know you two are lovers.”

  Linda sat back, her gaze frosty. “You were on private property, Chief Wylde.”

  “Yes, I was,” Sarah said calmly, though she was very aware of Eric's sudden attention on her. “Mr. Herne and I have already resolved the mistake. I apologize for

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  invading your privacy. However, it occurs to me you may be withholding information because you have a lover’s desire to protect him.”

  “No, I'm not. Justin Herne doesn't need protection. He didn't harm anyone. I know that as a friend and as a spiritual partner. We are not lovers, Chief Wylde. The sexual coupling of the Great Rite doesn’t require that. It’s most powerful when it is done by lovers, but it only requires two people comfortable enough with each other and themselves that they can lower their shields and permit the spirit of the Lord and Lady to come into them.” Linda laced her fingers on the tabletop, met Sarah’s hard gaze with a steely one of her own. “It is the Lord and Lady you saw come together to bless the Earth that night, not me and Justin Herne. Lovers are those who share heart, mind and soul, outside the circle as well as inside it. Justin and I do not share that bond.”

  * * * * *

  It was a struggle to shift gears, going from three days of non-stop work on a murder investigation to a presentation at the Marion Middle School auditorium. Sarah sat backstage and looked over her program offered by a courteous teacher. The kids were getting a ninety-minute marathon on every social issue related to personal health. Family planning was right before her ten-minute bit on illegal drug use. She almost bit off her tongue when she read the presenter's name.

  “Chief Sarah, this stalking of yours has got to stop.” Justin slid down into the metal chair next to hers.

  “You're the speaker on family planning?” She eyed him. “Do they know what kind of shop you run?”

  “You, the moral barometer of the community, already told me I had a nice place,” he pointed out. “So why are you shocked? Did you miss me?”

  She had, every raging gland. “You really need to get over yourself, Herne.”

  “So you did. I’ve missed you, too.” He settled back comfortably, stretched an arm along the top of her chair. He just hooked his fingers on the metal back, didn't even touch her, but his nearness made her skin itch. “How about you go to an erotic film festival with me tonight? It's just a five minute drive from here, far away from the disapproving stares you imagine would be on the faces of Lilesville citizens.”

  “Didn't I say a week?”

  “Don't consider it a date. We'll even keep one seat between us, just like straight guys going to the movies together.”

  She had to tighten her lips against a smile. “Charm won't work on me, Herne.”

  “Mmmm. I'll keep that in mind. There's my cue. Now, where did I put that bag of complimentary hopping penises and discount coupons for my adult video selections?”

  He rose, slipping easily into a professional manner with the teacher who came to escort him out on stage. Sarah shook her head. He was such an ass. And she was moving from lust and an as-yet-undefined emotional attachment into liking him. It was

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  revolting and worrisome, because her gut wouldn’t let up. She knew there was a connection between him and Lorraine Messenger, and that nothing could be more stupid than a cop who got into bed with someone connected to a murder. Her hormones and her heart couldn’t care less.

  She expected him to start with the basic building blocks of contraception, diseases, pregnancy. However, as with most things, he surprised her.

  After his brief introduction, he pointed to a girl and boy sitting together in the thirdrow of the auditorium. “I’d like you two to come up here with me, if you will.”

  There were the expected whistles and catcalls, and teachers hushing their assigned rows as the two teenagers reluctantly came on stage and he extracted their names fromthem. Mary and Travis. Mary was pretty in a quiet way. Not the cheerleader, but moreof the nice girl that everyone liked. Travis was gangling and a bit pimpled, but had a beautiful head of chestnut hair and hazel eyes. Sarah wondered if anyone other than

  Mary noticed how handsome he was, or would be. Looking at him critically as ateenager would, she knew he was probably considered a geek, and Mary was a bit plump.

  “Mary, Travis, how long have you been going together?” Justin asked. He didn’tuse the microphone because he didn’t need it. That sensual voice of his penetrated every corner of the auditorium as easily as it penetrated Sarah’s defenses.

  “Three months,” Travis mumbled. Mary blushed.

  “I knew they were dating,” Justin explained to the audience, “because of their body language. They were sitting together in their seats, leaning so their arms were touching, from shoulder to elbow.”

  Justin smiled, waited for the jeers and oohs to settle down. “Physical contact is one of our most important ways of communicating with one another. Right now is an incredible time for all of you.” He paused, looking out at them, creating a sense of intimacy with just one steady look, as if he were talking to each of them personally. Sarah leaned forward and saw even the teachers looked pulled into it.

  “There will never be another time in your life when you will be so aware of the way someone's hand feels holding yours.” Justin stepped behind the two, picked up Mary's hand, and placed it in Travis's. He closed their fingers around one another, turned them so they were facing each other instead of the watching audience. “Feels pretty good, doesn't it?”

  The two kids grinned, embarrassed but unable to deny their feelings. Sarah foundherself smiling.

  Justin pointed a finger out into the audience, swept it across them all. “Someone's foot covering yours under the desk, that stolen kiss between classes. That very first kiss.” He shook his head, took a deep breath and rolled his eyes, eliciting nervouslaughter. “It’s all so exciting, and yet it is the oldest ritual we know. The search for connection through touch, the desire to create a circle with a mate and become united.

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  And because it is the oldest ritual, it is very natural to want that to progress to a complete physical union, a consummation of two bodies. What we call, clinically, sex.”

  He dropped his tone to a dramatic whisper and quirked his brow at them. The students reacted in appropriate teenage fashion. He moved back to Mary and Travis, put a hand on each shoulder while the students calmed back down.

  His voice settled into that riveting cadence Sarah was beginning to recognize and enjoy far too much. It possessed a quality that conveyed something important andmysterious was about to be said and shared, and they would all be part of it, joined in its truth. He pulled something out that was inside of each of them, touching on ayearning that they each had, no matter its individual shape and form. Two hundred teenagers in an auditorium were as attentive to it as
Laura Crittenden or members of a Tantra class. The night of the class she had likened it to the skill of a gifted priest, but ithad been a comparison only. Now she acknowledged it. Justin was a priest.

  “Sex is a never ending adventure, the exploration of a lifetime between two people who love each other. You are no longer children, so it is normal for you to be thinking about it. There are many things you do not know yet, because you lack experience, but there are many things you do.

  “Now, in a minute, I'm going to talk about the things you expect me to talk about. Protection, disease. How abstinence is an acceptable choice and the only surefire protection against pregnancy or disease. You'll need to think about those things, because each of you is responsible for your own actions.”

  He stopped again, nodded, and got some return nods from the students in the first few rows. “However, when you feel for somebody the way Mary and Travis feel about each other, it’s like a huge shouting inside of your heart. The practical stuff hardly rises above a whisper in comparison. But contained within that shout of feelings is a very, very powerful force.”

  Justin turned to his two companions on stage. “Travis, if you and Mary were out one night, and some guy jumped you with a knife, you'd fight him to protect Mary, wouldn't you?”

  Travis nodded, tightened his grip on Mary’s hand. “You bet.”

  Mary showed her first spark. “And I'd help. I wouldn't let him hurt Travis.”

  Justin slanted a glance toward the wings and Sarah was immersed in warm and confusing feelings at the very brief look he sent her way.

  “If this were six hundred years ago, Travis might be a knight of the Round Table, and Mary would be his chosen lady. She would tie her favor on his arm before he went into battle and pray for his safe return. He would fight any evil to protect her, to save her from a wizard or two.”

  Justin used his hands to good advantage, gesturing out at the audience in a subtle

  but dramatic manner that kept their attention.

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  “They would know then, as they know now, that the best part of each day is getting to be part of each other's lives, no matter what else they face. There’s a lot to face out there, isn’t there?”

  When he got a wave of verbal assent, he nodded, his expression sober. “And we get to my point. The reality of what we face with each other day-to-day requires just as much heroism, even though it might not seem as dramatic.” He returned his hands to the young shoulders of Mary and Travis. “Travis, you want to make Mary happy and protect her from harm, and she wants to do the same for you.” His attention went outward again. “So I want you, all of you, to keep two things in mind when you think about whether or not you will have sex.

  “First thing. Sacrificing your own immediate needs to protect a lover from a choice that can change both of your lives in unpleasant ways forever is as brave and admirable as jousting a dragon or saving someone from a mugger. You’re old enough to know how to take care of each other. Protecting each other is an act of love, and courage. Never forget that, no matter what someone else tells you that you should do.”

  He stepped back. “You can sit down, Mary and Travis. Thank you.” Justin watched them leave the stage hand in hand and return to their seats. Then he raised his serious gaze to encompass his audience again, focusing them with that aura of dramatic stillness that clung to his shoulders. “Now for the second thing.

  “We can't dictate when and if you have sex. But I can tell you,” his glance went deliberately to Sarah, “if you wait and do it with someone for whom you feel a strong emotional and spiritual connection, someone with whom you know love and forever might be possible, who has a respect and caring for you that surpasses their desire merely to claim your flesh, you will have a memory worth carrying for the rest of your life.”

  * * * * *

  “So, how about the movie?” he asked, as they walked to the parking lot after the end of the program.

  “Do they offer popcorn at erotic film festivals? Milk Duds?”

  “Barbarian,” he said, with affection. He laid an arm over her shoulders, his fingers caressing the skin on her arm. She slid away, self-conscious.

  “I thought we said this wasn't a date. Seat between us, and all that.”

  A flash of temper crossed his face, but she saw him rein it in with difficulty. “So I did,” he said. “But will you let me drive you there? It's not far, and we can come back for your car.”

  “I'll follow,” she said.

  He stopped by his vehicle and slid his left hand into his pocket. “Sarah,” he said quietly. “I said I'd give you a week to consider where you want to go on this. But it doesn't sound like you're considering. It sounds like you're trying to build a wall as fast

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  as you possibly can, so at the end of a week you'll be so solidly behind it that whatever

  is between us will be less than a memory.”

  How could she explain that her defensiveness came from the fact that he kicked away every foundation stone before she could barely plant one into the ground?

  “How come you haven't asked about the status of the investigation? The realreason,” she challenged him, before that smooth mask could settle over his expression.

  “The real reason. Let's see,” he pulled out his key fob, stabbed the unlock button so the car chirped at them. “There are three. One, I figured it was police business and you couldn't chat up the details with me, seeing as you think I'm involved. Two, I've already told you I know what killed her, but you aren't ready to talk about that. Three, when I see you, dead bodies are not what immediately comes to my mind. Unfortunately, it’s apparently what comes to the forefront of yours.”

  He yanked open the door, slid behind the wheel. Sarah braced a hand against thehip side of her practical tailored black skirt. She had coordinated it with a gold blouse,over which she had worn her badge on a gold chain. She didn’t like wearing a gun in a school, even though she knew the absence of the sidearm always disappointed the kids.

  “So, I guess you're mad now and you don't want me to go with you to the movies.”

  Justin pressed his fingers to his eyelids as if he'd just developed a pounding headache. She tried to suppress the amusement in her face when he jerked his gaze back up to her.

  “You're goading me.”

  “Giving it a shot.” She shrugged. “You're too smooth, Herne. Makes me nervous, and it annoys the shit out of me.”

  “I know the feeling.”

  In a move she should have seen coming, he caught her wrist, yanked her forward so she tumbled across his lap. Sarah caught the soft fabric of the passenger seat and let out a yelp as he slapped her smartly on the ass three times and then spun her over in his arms so she was cradled in them on his thighs, the wheel pressing her in close to him. He did it so fast, she didn't have time to do much more than stare at him before he waskissing her, his hand holding her jaw, keeping her still as he plunged between her lips and took over.

  Her bottom tingled from the none-too-gentle spanking, and it translated to aprickling sensation between her legs that his mouth stimulated with the dexterity of his tongue against hers. She couldn't think when he kissed her like this, so she held on andmoaned softly into his mouth, clutching his shoulder with her free hand, her otherpinned between her hip and his lower belly, her fingers latching onto his belt, hooking into his waistband.

  She tasted his impatience and anger, and rather than raising the same emotions within her, it softened her, because she felt his need, not just in the obvious place,pressing against her abused ass, but as an emotional hunger. While it was that needinstead of the physical need that kept motivating her to retreat and spar with him, to

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  hold him at bay until she could get control, it was perversely those same emotions that made her want to get closer. To enjoy feeling desired and cared for as she had at the beginning
of her marriage, before it somehow had vanished, as if it had been an illusion all along.

  She shoved at him and began to struggle, like a cat fighting its way out of a bathtub.

  She was breathing hard, and his eyes coursed in deliberate appraisal over her tight nipples, down to her crotch where she knew as well as he did how wet she was. Then he lifted his attention to her face and let her see the intensity of those dark eyes, the desire to pull her into them, into his body, and immerse her in all the pleasures they promised. Her backside still stung, her lips were swollen, her breasts ached, and her thighs trembled. He had done it with three swats and one kiss. She suspected the man could kill her with actual sex.

  Or worse, destroy her heart and mess up her senses so she had no radar left. Her radar had been damaged by her marriage and she hadn't figured out how to makerepairs yet, though she'd been sure that getting involved with someone too soon was the wrong way to go about it.

  He didn't let her scramble away. He lifted her in those lean arms that shouldn't be so strong and scooted her over into the passenger seat.

  “We'll take my car,” he said. “The theater's only a few miles away.”

  He started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot before she could think of anything intelligent to say, and then she didn't know what to say at all.

  “So, how is the investigation going?”

  She shot a glance at him, saw the smile flirting about his lips, and her tension eased.

  “Jerk.”

  He laughed, picked up her hand and kissed it, a quick brush of lips, then held it throughout the short trip.

  She was content to let him do just that, and wondered at his ability to return them to an even balance with a few words, when he was equally adept at yanking the floor out from beneath her feet.