Afterlife Read online

Page 52

 

  The realization became something so difficult to contain, her fingers tightened on her knees. She needed Jon so badly she didn"t think she could breathe another second without him. And then Matt was gone and he was there, her Master.

  She stared at his feet, directly in front of her. She wanted to surge up, wrap her arms around him, have him hoist her body up and let her cling to him with arms and legs like a child, but she waited on the knife-edge, the most painful thing she"d done so far. She was lost, uncertain, and only he could save her.

  His long-fingered hands came into the scope of her vision first, closing on her hands and lifting them. Then he brought her gaze up to him as he squatted, flanking her with his knees. As he kissed each palm, his gaze dwelled on her. She didn"t know what to call what she saw in his face. It was love, yes, she couldn"t deny it, but there was more.

  For this one second she truly believed she was the most important thing in his life. A sense of utter belonging and possession wrapped around her, making her feel more warm, safe and loved than she"d ever felt in her entire life.

  “Forgiven,” he said. “Completely and forever. ”

  * * * * *

  Because she was still so shaky, and the showers and changing rooms were on a lower level, he carried her, the others making a path for him through the crowd. When he reached the shower area, however, he left her with Savannah, Cass and Dana, giving her a quiet smile, caressing her face. The women tugged her floating, dazed self into a private but spacious shower stall. With a lot of strokes and kisses, they helped wash so many things away, leaving only the things that mattered.

  Comfort turned in time to playfulness, and it amazed her to touch and be touched with such easy joy. She felt like a member of a harem for a powerful sultan—or in this case, five sultans—glorying in the state of sensuality that belonging to such men could keep at an astonishingly high level. She hadn"t believed in a dream like this, had resisted it, and why? Now that she"d experienced it, she knew she"d give almost anything to feel like this. She"d never understood there was a line between dangerous addiction and courage. It was both painful and thrilling to realize how close to the positive side of that line she"d perhaps always been. But she believed in cycles, Fate and karma. If she"d learned to have that courage before Jon had come into her life, it wouldn"t have been the same. Now was the right time, the way it was meant to be.

  They dried her, put her back in her dress, helped her with her hair, and she helped them with theirs, since they"d all gotten equally wet. They talked very little of specific things…it wasn"t needed. That would come later. They also seemed to understand she couldn"t handle much of anything beyond immediate thoughts, simple needs. Playful touches were mixed once again with comforting caresses, hugs, long moments of simply being held. The reassurance of women speaking in quiet conversation.

  When at last they emerged, Jon was waiting at the top of the stairs, hip propped on the rail. He was talking to Ben, who straightened from his panther"s slouch against the wall and gave all the ladies a thorough perusal and rakish grin, the charming lawyer back in full force. “What I would have given to be in that shower,” he noted, taking in all the wet hair and heated, damp skin.

  “No boys were allowed,” Dana informed him. “Boys are gross. ” She escaped his swat at her backside, stuck out her tongue in his direction, then ran for the direction of Peter"s voice. Ben followed in mock pursuit, though Rachel noticed he stayed close enough to grab her if she stumbled. Rolling her eyes, Cass squeezed Rachel"s arm and left her with a smile to join Lucas. Both he and Peter were seated on a velvet divan, Peter"s long legs sprawled out while Lucas leaned forward on his elbows with restless energy.

  Dana landed on Peter"s lap, wriggling there until he gave her thigh a light slap to settle her down and threw a wide grin in Ben"s direction. Lucas rose to slip an arm around Cass" waist, his hand settling low on her hip, stroking the line of it under the skirt. From the heated look in his eyes, he was ready to do some of his own playing here, and Rachel realized then that their particular scenario had probably guaranteed all couples would enjoy one another to an even more intense level tonight. Savannah stroked Rachel"s brow, gave her a thoughtful nod before she moved down the hallway where Matt was talking to a man who looked like the club manager, and, based on the relaxed body language between them, a friend. As Savannah got closer, he held out his hand without looking in her direction, knowing she was there, and drew her in to his side.

  “I"m taking you home. ”

  A sigh shivered out of her as Jon spoke in her ear, his voice husky and a little dangerous. When he turned her to face him, she was graphically reminded that, while she"d been taken over the moon with her climax, he"d withheld his release. The lust pulsed off him in waves, every line of his body taut with desire, the blue eyes intent.

  The way he gripped her, the sense of aroused urgency in his strong fingers, gave her a delicious fear, knowing her Master would be in the mood to take when he got her home. She wanted him to do so. She wanted to meet his every demand, wanted him to fuck her savagely, with no care for her own needs until he was fully sated.

  He closed his hand on her ass. She could feel the heat of his skin, the solid muscle, through the thin layers of clothing that separated them. “I"m going to fuck you for the rest of the night, long and hard, until you can"t handle it hard anymore. Then I"ll be gentle, but I"m going to keep doing it until your pussy creams upon demand. And I"m going to do it in your bed, so you"ll get used to having my scent there, on everything that"s a part of your life. ”

  Her pussy had already dampened at the first sentence. She"d barely gotten her breath back yet, and her body had been sorely, deliciously used. However, she wouldn"t tell Jon she might need that gentleness sooner than later. Not because she was avoiding telling him what would hurt her, as he"d warned her against earlier. But because she knew he would know. He was so conscious of how she was feeling, how tired or weak she was. He would know the limits of her endurance and test them the way only a Master could.

  “I"d like that. ” The words were a fervent breath of sound as she looked up at him.

  He stroked his finger beneath that velvet collar, twisted to increase its hold. “Master. ”

  “Good girl,” he said, that blue fire getting hotter.

  She realized she hadn"t really given him any indication of her feelings about the rest of what had happened tonight. Though she expected he knew that too, she glanced over at the others. “I"d like…I"d like to see them again. ”

  “You will. And not just like this. This is my family. Your family. ” He spoke the overwhelming truth that would take time for her to handle, but in a good way. “We"ll get to spend lots of time with them. Would you like that?”

  “Yes, very much. ”

  “Good. Maybe we"ll do dinner with them next Friday. You haven"t eaten Italian meets Tex-Mex until Matt cooks for you. It"s incredible. We"ll fly down to his place on the Gulf for the weekend if your schedule allows for it. ” Normal things and totally ground-shaking changes in her life, all mixed together.

  She could only nod, lean in to his body as he moved them into a walk, shifting his arm to her waist. “You"re still trembling,” he said quietly. “I can carry you. ” She shook her head. “As much as I love the way that feels, I want to feel the trembling. I want to know you did this to me. ”

  “All right. I"m going to have Lucas walk out with us so he can be with you while I tip the doorman. Then we"ll go home. ”

  The look he gave her said they"d barely make it into her apartment before he"d be inside her again. He might not even take time to open the door. He"d push her into that partially hidden alcove, shove up her skirt and take her against the paneled wood of her door, hitting it with a rhythmic thud. Anyone who came down the hall would recognize the sound, know what they were doing. Then later, when he took her in her bed, the silhouette of his shoulders would be over her in the darknes
s, the climax a rolling tide that would send her to dreams…

  * * * * *

  She felt like pure, sparkling water. When they emerged from the club, it was remarkably early, only about ten o"clock. The stars were so bright, even with the lights of the city against the sky. She had Jon"s collar on her throat, and with that and her sexy dress, coming out of this kind of club, it was obvious what she was to those coming in.

  Their knowing glances made her feel…breathtaking. Powerful and submissive at once, so aware of all the male energy around her, but particularly the energy of the one with the doorman. Jon met her gaze, heated, strong, and she was glad for Lucas" brief touch at her back, guiding her. She was besotted, enraptured, completely—

  “Rachel?”

  It was like hearing an unwelcome voice in the middle of a particularly good dream.

  It didn"t make sense, made things disorienting. Though she really didn"t want to, she turned toward it.

  Cole had become more avid about golfing during the latter part of their marriage, probably to escape the obvious fact that their marriage was failing. She"d been no better, sometimes actually relieved to have more time alone. She"d learned loneliness was preferable to being in the company of someone who obviously would rather not be with her.

  Earlier, she"d recognized the nearby steakhouse as one of Cole"s favorite watering holes. But the chance of seeing him had been so remote, too absurd a coincidence, she hadn"t considered it. Even though everything in her life, the spirituality she embraced, had proven to her over and over again that random occurrences often weren"t. The parent who unexpectedly came home from work at lunchtime to find the teenagers rendezvousing in their bed, the wife running into the mistress at the mall…

  Fate had thrown him here at this exact moment, hadn"t it? To teach her something, tell her something. But what? The sick fear returned, her stomach already knowing what her mind refused to process.